Does language teaching need a study of language?

In my opinion, the issue or question of the relevance of the study of language in language teaching is very similar to the question ‘Does one need to study mathematics or science in order to be able to teach these subjects better?’ Though it might seem like a short aside, I would like to first explore this question before coming to the language issue.

Two years back, I had the opportunity to undertake a study of teacher’s views and understanding about the subject matter of mathematics and its pedagogy. In the course of doing this study, I came across literature that explored the place of discipline or subject specific knowledge (in this case, mathematics) in classroom teaching. For instance, Skemp (1971 and later) highlighted the frustration of children who are mainly taught the ‘how’ when they actually want answers to the ‘why’. Liping Ma’s landmark comparative study (1999) of Chinese and American elementary school teachers brought the dimension of teacher preparation centre stage. Ma compared the situation of mathematics teachers in China and the United States. Using data from her study, she developed the notion of ‘profound mathematical understanding’ in teachers and stressed that this understanding is crucial to how they perceive mathematics and teach it. Based on her analysis, Ma then argued for ‘a connected, structured and longitudinally coherent knowledge of core mathematical ideas as an essential pre-requisite for any teacher’. In a similar vein, Deborah Ball et al (2005) state that ‘classroom problems are also mathematical problems’. This leads to the question: ‘What kinds of mathematical reasoning, insight, understanding and skill are required in the teaching of mathematics?’ The position taken by Ball is that the interactive work of teaching itself involves ‘knowledge of mathematical ideas skills of mathematical reasoning and communication, fluency with examples and terms…’ This requires additional mathematical insight and reasoning which involves ‘a kind of depth and detail that goes well beyond what is needed to carry out the algorithm reliably.’ This correlation was shown to exist on the basis of data collected for more than 700 teachers and 3000 students.

It is quite clear from the above examples that subject matter or disciplinary knowledge is considered to be critical for deeper more meaningful teaching leading to understanding. Along with this knowledge is the knowledge of how children learn. Together, these two aspects are integral to the preparation of the teacher. We can extend this case to the study of language and language teaching as well. In the case of teachers, this aspect would be considered to be an integral part of their education and preparation as teachers. For teacher educators and practitioners in general, this would mean developing sensitivity to how language works. For children, a teaching-learning process grounded in the principles of language learning may offer many possibilities for deepening their learning experience as well as for creative expression, among others. Just why is this kind of knowledge necessary in the case of language teaching and learning? I have tried to present some arguments below.

Much of what passes for as learning in primary and elementary school is traditionally measured in terms of the 3R’s (reading, writing and arithmetic). In educational practice, there is no dearth of small, medium and large scale quantitative surveys to ascertain whether children have acquired the 3R’s after, say five years, of schooling. Testing of children has almost become an obsession. Furthermore, with regard to language learning, in many cases the conventional practice is to break it up into ‘listening, speaking, reading and writing skills’ (the so-called L-S-R-W model) almost as if these skills are picked up in isolation of each other! This pre-occupation with measuring outputs, without paying sufficient attention to the processes of learning and other important aspects such as the resources children bring, their diverse backgrounds and narratives, reduces much of language learning to a mechanical ‘input-output’ model. We have seen this positivist, reductionistic approach since the ‘Minimum Levels of Learning’ (MLL) days of the nineties. The approach has continued in some form or the other to this day, though the term MLL itself may not be used as widely as before. It is in this larger context we must view the question of the relevance (or need) of the study of language to language teaching.

There are other issues that deserve attention as well. First, we tend to look at language as ‘another subject to be learnt’. I suppose this view reduces or even negates the potential that language learning offers for learning in general. Like in mathematics, where procedural knowledge is often emphasized at the cost of developing understanding, language teaching too suffers from a narrow view that places correctness of grammar and pronunciation above creative expression. This leads to a kind of mechanical classroom practice where error correction is given undue emphasis. The fact that children have mastered grammar long before they enter school is lost on teachers and also in the process of their preparation. Other notions (already pointed out in the reading provided for this assignment) include the myth of language purity, dialect inferiority, pride of place for certain ‘mother of all’ languages, multilingualism as a problem, etc. These notions are so deeply ingrained that they are rarely problematized as issues during teacher preparation.

The above observations may be categorized as those belonging to the realm of pedagogy on the one hand and on the other, larger (often unexamined) worldviews about people, language, culture, power, politics, and so on. Of course, these worldviews in turn influence education policy, teacher policy and classroom practice.

Given these observations, we must ask: What is the value in a study of language as part of a program on education? The first value addition is that such an endeavor may contribute in important ways to developing sensitivity and awareness in teachers and teacher educators as regards the equality and structural unity of languages. This might then lead to a respect for the diversity of languages. In turn, we could then start looking at multi-linguality and multiple socio-economic and cultural contexts as resources instead of considering them as burdensome problems to be dealt with through imposition of uniformity. Further, such a study could contribute to a deeper and informed understanding regarding the history and politics of language, and how language has been used as a tool for promoting vested interests. Also, in this regard, teachers and others could appreciate the rich and varied cultural history and resources that a country like India possesses.

In offering arguments for a study of language as part of language teaching or for a program on education, it may be important to ask: Is language to be treated as a separate subject? Does language development not have something fundamental to do with cognition itself? This view is articulated by Halliday (1994) that ‘When children learn language, they are not simply engaging in one kind of learning among many; rather they are learning the foundation of learning itself.’ If one wishes to take this position, then there is no escape from a study of language in any program of teaching or education.

References
Towards a language based theory of learning (M.A.K Halliday, 1994, source not specified)
The Psychology of Learning Mathematics (Richard Skemp, Penguin Publishers, London 1971)
Knowing and Teaching Elementary Mathematics – Teachers’ understanding of Fundamental Mathematics in China and the United States (Liping Ma, LEA Publishers, London 1999)
Knowing Mathematics for Teaching – Who knows mathematics well enough to teach third grade, and how can we decide? (Deborah Ball et al, American Educator, 2005)
Knowing mathematics for teaching – baseline study of practicing mathematics teachers (Sheshagiri K.M, 2007, Supported by Sir Ratan Tata Trust)

What the Karnataka textbooks say on things that matter

Recently, I had the opportunity to do a quick study of the Karnataka State Social Studies textbooks to see how the idea of the modern nation is represented. Specifically, I looked at the construction of values and ideals of 'national progress,’ ‘democracy,’ and the 'ideal' citizen. Inclusions and exclusions in terms of gender, caste, class, religion, ethnicity and location (rural/urban) were also noted, along with the role the textbook content explicitly/implicitly assigns to education in national development. The study was an eye opener in many ways, and I ended up asking more questions than I have been able to answer!

Brief description of the textbooks studied
The books studied are the two Social Science textbooks of Class V used by the government schools in Karnataka. The books have been published by the Karnataka Textbook Society. The core curricular areas for Class V have been represented through the textbooks in the following manner – barring language, which has dedicated textbooks for each language (Kannada, English, Urdu, etc), the other subjects are all clubbed together in two textbooks, one for each semester (the academic year is divided into two semesters at the primary and middle school levels). Thus, semester 1 has a combined textbook for Social Science, General Science, Environmental Studies and Mathematics. The same is the case with the semester 2 textbook. The reason why this is so, is not clear. However, what is clear is that curricular or pedagogical concerns have not informed the production of these ‘all in one’ textbooks – for instance, there is no integration of content across disciplines. There are merely separate sections for each subject. It is quite possible that the effort has been to reduce the total number of textbooks that children need to carry (and hence reduce the load of the school bag)! Another reason would be to economize textbook printing.

The Social Science part/section of the composite textbooks is further divided into the areas of History, Civics and Geography. The topics dealt with each of these areas are described below.

Semester 1 topics (History) -- History of India – land and people; pre-historic India; Indus Valley Civilization; Vedic Age; Jainism and Buddhism
Semester 2 topics (History) -- Ancient North India; Mauryan Empire; The Kushans; The Gupta Empire; India after the Guptas; Ancient South India
Semester 1 topics (Civics) -- Civics and its importance; Public Property
Semester 2 topics (Civics) -- Rural Communities; Urban Communities; Panchayati Raj; Civic and District Administration
Semester 1 topics (Geography) -- The Solar system; Latitude and Longitude; Weather and Climate; Effect on daily life of weather and climate
Semester 2 topics (Geography) -- Physical features and climate of India; Agriculture and Industry; Population of India

Aspects of the ‘modern nation’, such as values and ideals of 'national progress', democracy, the notion of the 'ideal' citizen, inclusions and exclusions in terms of gender, caste, class, religion, ethnicity and location (rural/urban), and the role of education in national development, are all implicitly or explicitly addressed in both the Class V textbooks. They are not situated in any particular chapter, but are spread across the entire text. In particular, the strongest linkages/references are seen in the sections that deal with the subject of Civics. In the coming paragraphs, we will look at examples of how the textbooks approach the above mentioned aspects of the modern nation.

The ‘ideal’ or ‘good’ citizen
Lesson 6 of the semester 1 textbook (P.39) begins with a statement about citizenry. A citizen is referred to as somebody ‘who is a member of the country or nation and who abides by the rules and regulations of that country.’ Further, ‘A Good citizen loves and respects his country. Every citizen has certain rights and duties.’ Civics, it is stated, ‘tells us about the role of the citizen in society and in the government.’ Conducting oneself in a disciplined manner and respecting the needs of others is identified as one of the key aspects of a ‘good civic life’.

On page 40 of the above book, the ‘Characteristics of a good citizen’ along with those of the ‘good civic life’ are outlined thus:

• Keeping the school premises clean
• Keeping the house and street clean
• Helping children and old people
• Following a queue system
• To respect national flag and national anthem
• To protect public property etc
• To defend the country in times of need
• To pay taxes without fail
• To cast vote during elections
• Not to participate in anti-social activities
• Understand that giving or taking bribe is an offence

The second semester book also (on P.60, 61 in the chapter on urban communities, and further on P.96 in the chapter on Population of India) outlines certain duties of citizens (interestingly, these or any other duties do not feature in the chapter on rural communities):

• To keep surroundings clean
• Not to smoke in public places
• To dispose waste materials
• To reduce the use of plastic bags
• To use electricity and water sparingly
• To develop the habit of working hard and live by earning
• To obey the law and lead a peaceful life
• To control population explosion

From this description, one cannot help but get the impression that the good or ideal citizen is a passive person one who has to ‘obey’ or follow a range of rules set by/in his nation so as to preserve order (whose order?) in society. This almost sounds like a mechanical list of ‘things to do’ in order to qualify for the tag of a good or ideal citizen. While sensitivity to the needs of others is mentioned, the rest of the items listed above seem to require an almost blind belief in the following of rules set out by the powers that be. Neither the textbook content nor the questions that follow provide much space for exploration by the teacher and children. For instance, what could respect for the national flag and anthem mean? Why should standing up when the national anthem is played be construed as good citizenry, and not otherwise? In the same vein, what could ‘anti-social’ activities mean? Would participating in a meeting/dharna/procession that critiques government policy be considered anti-social?

It is interesting that the characteristics listed above of a good/ideal citizen do not seem to include a critical element or faculty, such as the ability to question a given phenomenon, or form a strong civil society to struggle for people’s rights, or engage political representatives in serious discussions about a range of issues that affect people’s lives. Further, there is absolutely no discussion about why the abovementioned list of characteristics are so often in short supply in everyday life, ranging from motorists who routinely break traffic rules, to the more complex phenomenon of how the state itself can perpetrate acts of violence against its own people (several examples can be given here). Perhaps it is too much to expect a state sponsored textbook to be critical of the state! But the point here is that the text does not problematize the notion of the good/ideal citizen, thus cutting out the possibility of critical engagement by the teacher and students. On the other hand, what comes across implicitly is that the country or the government is always right, and works in the interest of all people. Therefore, it is the duty of a good citizen to always obey the rules and laws of this country.

Descriptions of ‘rural’ and ‘urban’
Rural communities
There are interesting ways in which ‘Rural Communities’ and ‘Urban Communities’ have been described in two separate chapters of the semester 2 textbook. The competencies children are expected to pick up after the rural communities chapter are the following:

• Know the important occupations of the villagers
• Understand the problems of villages, measures taken by the government to improve their conditions and get themselves involved in development programs

After acknowledging the importance of the rural community in general and the farmer in particular for national progress, the textbook presents a rather idealized view of the village. It states that ‘Villagers fulfill their needs among themselves. They work together to form a village community.’ This is an oversimplified description of the village, perhaps even a distorted image! To this is added another idyllic image: ‘In villages there are rivulets, ponds, tanks, pastures and sacred groves. Villagers celebrate festivals and worship gods and goddesses.’ Almost immediately, as if to correct this description, the idealized pictures are replaced with a section on the ‘Problems of Rural Communities’ – these problems are either ‘Economic, Social’ or of illiteracy (due to lack of education). The few sentences under ‘Social Problems’ are vague and do no justice to the intricacies and complexities of rural life (italics mine): ‘Some rural communities still practice untouchability. People of some castes are not allowed to enter temples, use public wells and participate in public functions. Further, some people are superstitious.’

It is not clear why there is so much vagueness in this description. Who is referred by the word ‘some’? Why are the identities of people termed as ‘some’, hidden and why are they made faceless? Where do these people stay? Why are things like this? These questions beg for explanations in the book. It looks as if the textbook authors are hesitating to discuss upfront the real problems of Indian society, such as the divisive and discriminatory caste system that has existed for thousands of years. What is therefore clear is that there is a downplaying of the deeply hierarchical and divisive nature of Indian society, which has historically led to discrimination and exclusion of groups of people labeled/classified as the Scheduled Castes/Scheduled Tribes etc. By skirting this discussion altogether, the 2nd semester textbook of Class V in many ways actually excludes, from the learning experience of the child, the very existence of these marginalized communities. Thus, an opportunity to critically examine and understand important features of Indian society is lost. However, we may note that the terms SC/ST are freely used in a following chapter on Panchayat Raj, which is mainly a factual account the three tier system of local governance both in the rural and urban contexts.

If the issues such as caste find such casual and careless treatment, the aspect of gender, class and religion (again factors that contribute to Indian society’s stratification and division) do not find mention either, anywhere in the body of the text of the class V books. There is a passing mention that (P.52) ‘…farmers take up other occupations like rearing cattle, sheep, poultry farming and making baskets. There are blacksmiths, potters, barbers, stone cutters, weavers, cobblers, goldsmiths, tailors, oil millers and washer-men in our villages.’ This long list does not educate us about the structure of Indian society—it is just that there are different people doing different things.

Having identified the ‘problems’ of rural communities, the lesson goes on to state that the government provides, through development programs ‘…drinking water, education, employment and medical facilities’ to improve the standards of their lives.

There is one full page illustration (in the form of a collage) of ‘rural life’ in the chapter on rural communities with the caption ‘Development is the fruit of hard work’. One part of the illustration shows a village scene in which a woman walking away from the hand pump, carrying two or three pots of water on her head, while another is filling hers. Another part shows a big dam with the power grid in the background of a village with tiled houses (actually, the power grid leads away from the village, and we have no way of knowing if the village is supplied with electricity!). There is mechanized farming in this village, for we see a tractor in the foreground. Also is shown a woman serving a man with food. The third part of the illustration in the collage shows a train in the background passing by the village, while in the foreground, there is a postman delivering a letter to a woman. In the distance, a group of women are seated in a circle in front of their houses, doing some domestic work.

From the illustrations, one can make out that women manage the house while men seem to be the more mobile of the two (this is of course based on only two or three examples). The distinct aspect however concerns the technology – the big dam, the power grid, the tractor and the train, are the technologies that are expected to improve the living conditions of rural communities. Of course, the hand pump provides clean water. All of these are seen to be contributing to the development and modernization of rural communities. Again, this appears to be idealized and simple.

Urban communities
The rural/urban distinction is first established in terms of population (high in urban areas) and occupation of people (‘productive’ like agriculture in case of rural folk, and ‘services’ like offices, factories etc in case of urban folks). Another distinction is that urban areas have factories, which rural areas do not. Urban problems revolve around (a) Pressure of population, (b) Problem of housing, (c) Environmental pollution and (d) Social problems. Again, these are not problematized. Why, for instance, is there a population problem? The textbook answers this by stating that ‘people go from villages to cities and towns in search of jobs’, which in turn creates problems for housing. Further, this results in lakhs of people not even having basic facilities. Slums thus get created, and their ‘clearance’ becomes a ‘great problem in urban areas’.

The above description of the population problem directly contradicts what the earlier chapter on rural communities states (‘Villagers fulfill their needs among themselves…’)! Further, there is no hint regarding who these migrants are, and why they may be forced to migrate. There is not even one example to illustrate a point or argument in a deeper manner. Again, these people are faceless. In one sense, this is like using the word ‘some’ in the earlier chapter. Thus, voices and representations of those who are excluded (and who invariably become the migrants searching desperately for livelihood of any kind) do not find any expression again, as in the earlier chapter.

The text attempts to create or show other distinctions between rural and urban communities, but these distinctions are problematic and are not explored deeply enough. For instance, under ‘Social Problems’ (P.60), ‘poverty, unemployment, stealing, violence, exploitation of children and women’ find mention. Interestingly, unemployment, violence, and exploitation of children and women do not feature as problems of rural life. Also, environmental pollution and housing appear to be exclusive problems of urban communities.

One gets the sense from the rural and urban chapters that urban problems are numerous and are more complex than rural ones. This is why the authors perhaps felt that it was important to talk about the duties of citizens in the urban case, which they did not deem fit for the chapter on rural communities!

Values and ideals of national progress; democracy; role of education in national development

Moving on, the idea of ‘National Progress’ in the class V textbooks is linked to the notion of a ‘good citizen’ and his or her duties. In the chapter on urban communities (P.61, semester 2), it is stated that ‘If the citizens imbibe these qualities in their daily life, many problems that we are facing today will disappear. Our life will become golden. The country will progress.’ Thus, ‘good and obedient’ citizens are wanted and the authors seem to bemoan the fact that such citizens are in short supply! The fact that these long lists of qualities of a good citizen are included in the textbook suggests that school education is expected to play a critical role in the formation of good citizenry. Of course, this is implicit. Despite these safeguards, why is it that we continue to have so many civic problems? This is nowhere reflected upon. Has education failed then?

Another place where national progress finds mention is in relation with the farmer (P.51, 52, Semester 2) who is the ‘…backbone of our country. The country cannot progress unless the villages are developed.’ So, this is the second strand in the thinking on the values and ideals of national progress. There are some more observations in a later chapter (Lesson 12) titled ‘Agriculture and Industry’. In this chapter, it is acknowledged in the beginning that ‘India is a land of agriculture. Seventy percent of the population depends on agriculture for their living. India is self sufficient in food production.’ This, it is claimed, is as a result of the Green Revolution which adopted new agricultural technology for growth in production. Thus, the role of technology is central to national progress. It is also stated in this regard that: ‘By this (the green revolution) the country has achieved self-sufficiency in agricultural production and economic progress.’ This is a one sided view which completely ignores the ground realities (survey after survey shows alarming levels of malnutrition among more than half of India’s young children, women, for instance). It also contradicts what the same textbook says earlier in the rural communities’ chapter (P.52): ‘Most of the farmers have very small plots of land. The yield is not enough for the needs of the family.’ How can we then say that we have achieved self sufficiency in agricultural production and economic progress?

Technology is seen as an ideal force for national development. Industries, which use this technology (P.92, Semester 2) ‘…Play a great role in the development of the country’s economy.’
The word ‘democracy does not feature in the Class V textbooks on social science. Since I have not studied the Class VI and VII books, it is not possible to state if this topic has found treatment there or not. The topic could have been discussed in the chapter on Panchayati Raj, but the authors have chosen instead to present factual information on Panchayats without for a moment reflecting on the possible links between Panchayats and local democracy and governance. Perhaps the other place where democracy is implicit is the notion of good citizenry, which we have discussed in some detail earlier.

Summing up
This quick study/review of the fifth standard social science textbooks of the Karnataka government in connection with notions of national development, citizenry, democracy, inclusion/exclusion etc has thrown up some interesting observations, as I have already noted. One limitation of this review must be acknowledged upfront – that the review has confined itself only to Class V textbooks. It is possible that the missing pieces may find some treatment in books for Classes VI and VII. However, given the approach seen so far, it is likely that the treatment is going to be problematic from a pedagogical as well as curricular point of view. Issues such as the above, which might require an ‘open ended’ approach are instead presented factually and in an oversimplified manner, ignoring complexities and conflicts. In all cases, the government is seen as doing the right thing all the time. It is the citizens who have to buck up and play their constructive roles.

By presenting content in a factual manner and by not problematizing the study of Indian society, the opportunity for deeper, critical reflection has been greatly limited both for the teacher and the student. A word must be said about the questions and other exercises after each chapter – they merely promote memory recall. This effectively shuts out any possibility that may exist for developing a critical outlook. Only if the teacher rejects such content (or looks at it as open to debate and interpretation) will there be a possibility of rethinking fundamental assumptions that underlie the structures and processes in Indian society. This in turn can make the learning experience very enriching for every child. But how many teachers are likely to embark on this more difficult but rewarding journey?

One may argue that for children as young as ten years, it is not advisable to present the conflicts and contradictions of a society as complex as India. If this indeed is the case, we are undermining the intelligence and capability of children to grapple with complexity, diversity and conflict.

July 2009
Bengalooru

The White Matter Problem

Since the last twenty five years, I have been confronted by the ‘white matter problem’. No, this has nothing to do with the visible white matter in the universe through the astronomer’s telescope. Nor has it anything to do with the other problem that has puzzled cosmologists – the ‘dark matter’ problem – the mysterious invisible matter which might eventually decide if the universe will go on expanding forever, or contract back into a singularity after what might seem to be an eternity. Now, a singularity is a kind of entity that is difficult to understand – imagine all the matter in the universe squeezed into a point that has no dimensions! Further, imagine that the universe began from a singularity, at which point time actually = zero! I must return to this strange and perplexing discussion another day! I must understand it before I pass on into that singularity!

I’m not even talking about the grey matter inside our heads. The white matter above my head, but rooted in it is the issue that has caused consternation to certain people over the years. So, let me tell you that story.

In the midst of thick, jet black hair, the first white strands grew. I noticed it when I was thirteen I guess. I remember commenting about it to my mother, standing in front of a big mirror in the small living room of our Koramangala house. I’m not sure if she worried about it then. I didn’t, too – it was easy to hide the few white strands by pushing and patting them carefully below the black majority after oiling my hair with coconut oil every morning.

The years passed. There was no appreciable change in the quantity of white matter with its roots in my head. In 1987, the year I got into engineering, it hadn’t attracted much attention. Even if it did, I don’t remember it. Ditto in 1991, the year I graduated, least interested in the enterprise of designing, making and fixing machines In a couple of years, I got disgusted with the experiences of shouting every day at men on the shop floor, egging them on to produce more and more in less and less time. From that point on, more strands of white started sprouting, and people I knew began noticing. Still, the thick and jet black majority managed to obscure this fresh growth. However, it required some effort at combing time every morning. After a while, I began to wonder if this hiding business was worth it. As the days passed, I managed to ignore it altogether.

In 1993, the year I became a schoolteacher, the kids I taught, noticed. So did my fellow teachers. There were not too many direct comments, though. May be no one wanted to offend me. I even suspected that some of my colleagues liked what they saw, especially some female colleagues. This hunch was only based on their appreciative but cryptic comments such as ‘It looks good’, for instance. On second thoughts, I wondered if it was a case of dripping sarcasm. In the hope that I could attract more female attention, I began conjuring theories of male-female attraction based on white matter – ‘older women get attracted to younger men with white hair because it makes them look matured; younger women also get attracted to young men with white hair because they are looking for someone wise to spend their time with’. Of course, these theories were hopelessly out of sync with the times and I didn’t land up any girlfriends young or old based on my white matter alone. To this day, I fervently believe in these theories, waiting for a miracle to happen!

In the mid-nineties, when I left the school to move to Raichur in North Karnataka to do some work in the village schools, I did business with the barbers with their open roadside parlors in the small and remote town of Deodurg. They started noticing, first thing.

Getting a haircut done in Deodurg was a different experience – unlike Bangalore, where you could sit for the haircut inside a reasonably well kept room with its large mirrors in the front and back, the Deodurg open barber usually had his shop under the sky – some had the mirrors usually fixed to a tree on one side of the road, and those seeking a haircut usually had to sit on an old wooden chair facing the mirror, propped up on carefully arranged stones that were flat. It was a bit of a circus in every sense of the word. What made it different was it felt very public. When I sat on one of those chairs for the very first time, I felt that everyone on the road – humans, dogs and pigs were watching me. Of course, they were only minding their business. The roadside tree barber would engage you in small talk, and if you were curious enough, you could get a colorful account of life in Deodurg town. They say that a barber is one of the best informants if you are doing some social research anywhere.

Anyway, the barbers got interested in my white strands because it had a direct business implication for them – the profits to be made from dyeing! Barber after barber wanted me to dye my hair and wanted me to look young and dashing again, with jet black hair. With fervent hope, they would always ask ‘Sir, shall I dye your hair this time? Sir it has spread Sir, all over the sides…that too at such a young age, Sir!’ Some of them indeed looked concerned. But I would generally remain unmoved, determined not to yield to their devious business suggestions. By then, I had developed a couple of stock replies: ‘Why should we hide anything?’ I would retort as if I was an open book for everyone to see and write on. And then assert, ‘Let me age naturally! Life will go on!’ This philosophical invective would result in an amused smile from the barber: ‘Ok sir, your wish.’ The next month he would repeat the same questions as if nothing had happened. Great triers, these barbers were!

In the late nineties when I moved to Delhi the white strands were no longer the minority. They were noticed often, comments were passed and I carried on, unfazed. To tempt me further, the East Delhi barber whose shop I frequented tempted me with a ‘package’ consisting of a haircut, head massage and dyeing. ‘But if I dye it will it not turn brown?’ I protested, based on my observations of those who wanted their hair to appear eternally black. I thought that would keep him quiet. But he replied easily. ‘Nowadays there are dyes which will not allow your hair to turn red or brown.’ Of course, I didn’t believe him. Such exchanges would generally end with my stock replies. The barber would then quietly go about his job. A haircut usually resulted in exposing more white matter. Given that I went in for short ‘crew’ cuts, the short, white hair would stand up straight for a few weeks – combing didn’t make any difference a few weeks after every cut.

In North India, they liken marriage to a laddoo. You are told that it is that kind of laddoo which you will regret not eating. And if you do bite into it, you would regret as well! It’s a bit like saying ‘Heads I win, tails you lose.’ Strange laddoo! Anyway, I swallowed this laddoo in 2000 after Herculean efforts by my father to find me a bride. The passport sized photo of mine which was shared as part of the correspondence still hid the white strands that were threatening to come out. I passed the bridegroom test just as she passed hers and we decided to eat the laddoo. I don’t think she noticed that much white matter – in any case, she didn’t look scared or put off. We didn’t get too close for her to notice the defiant white. She later said that she might have reconsidered her decision to bite the laddoo with me. I thought the coconut oil had done the trick!

In a workshop where we were attempting to develop a Country Strategic Plan (CSP) for five years based on what was touted as the ‘Security Framework’ (because we thought everyone was feeling so insecure in the rural communities where we worked!), my colleagues from this new organization I had joined in Delhi noticed the many white strands. It was two weeks before the D-day. During the tea break, I heard ‘Are you not going to dye it before you go to Bangalore?’ for the nth time. The others nodded in agreement. ‘No’. I said as a matter of fact. No explanations were given or asked for. ‘…salt and peppery hair…!’ One of them said as we went back to develop that CSP. I’m not sure if that CSP made much difference anyway in the lives of people. We are often very good at producing lofty sounding documents and think we are doing a great job of bringing ‘development’ to poor communities. And most of the time we spend writing these documents.

Post marriage, when we returned to Delhi, the white secret was out. She felt distinctly uncomfortable about it. I suppose there is this tendency among girls to compare their husbands with their fathers especially where they have enjoyed good relationships with each other. Her advocate father, I was made to believe, had few white strands at sixty. ‘No dyeing-wyeing for him!’ I felt myself shrink and felt like hiding somewhere when I heard things like ‘You look fifty!’ as a matter of fact. ‘You look like my uncle’. Even he looks younger.

Theirs must have been a family of jet black hair owners! Or so I thought, amused and angry. For some years after marriage, she tried hard to get me to dye, but I didn’t budge. Ego problem, some people said. Can’t you just please her? I let it be. Colleagues, friends and anxious sounding relatives kept reminding me now and then. By then, I had developed another stock reply: ‘Accept me as I am. Haven’t I accepted you as you are? The essence of any marital relationship, as I would realize later, is this acceptance. It reduces stress and unnecessary expectations. This argument, however, cannot be stretched too much – there will be cases where one is required to change if the relationship is falling apart or if there are serious problems of relating itself. But that is a discussion I do not want to enter into right now.

In 2001, we had a baby boy. My wife resolved to win him over to her side in her battle against the pure whites. ‘A good four to five years, before he starts pestering me’, I pointed out one day. ‘So what?’ She retorted. ‘At least then you will have no choice. You can’t afford to see him embarrassed in front of his friends by your white hair. He will not even call you his father.’

Till date, my son who’s just crossed eight has not bothered me with the question, except when he’s been pushed to do so. He loves his father as he is, white matter and all. Meanwhile, the proportion of whites has gone up significantly. It shows up in photographs. My wife still talks about it, though I guess she’s realized it’s a losing battle. We now have a darling daughter, all of two years. Perhaps she’s pinning her hopes on the little girl to win me over? After all, daddy’s girls wield tremendous power!

I must admire the barber’s patience, though. All barbers want better business. The dyeing bit brings in more moolah than the cutting bit. So they’ll keep asking the question. They now have a range of techniques and products designed to make you look eternally young. But I suspect it’s a losing battle. The whites, along with the wrinkles, are bound to appear sooner or later. As I write this, the whites have colonized newer areas. Pretty much like a tumor, they have spread to the moustache and the beard. Recently, I noticed a couple of stubborn sprouts on my right eye brow!

My relatives, who I do not meet often, appear surprised every time we get together. I’m sure they talk. Who cares anyway? Many of my cousins are into dyeing – I can easily make it out. Some six months back, at a social gathering, my cousin’s wife called me aside. After exchanging the usual pleasantries, she turned her attention to you know what. As we talked, there was not much eye contact – she was sizing up the white thingies. ‘Dye, dye, dye!’ seemed to be the message. I just had to look better.

There is this modern obsession to lose weight, look young, sexy and fair. ‘Eye candy’ is the term used to describe someone who’s just managed to look right after sweating it for hours in the gym. The industry behind this body manipulation is worth billions of dollars. It sends messages into our subconscious, and once these messages get there, they make damage, since we have been unable to filter them.

The white matter problem is only a small part of this industry, which promises much – smoothening skin wrinkles, whitening teeth, blackening and coloring hair, tucking the tummy in especially if you do not want to exercise, sculpting noses, buttocks and pulling up sagging breasts apart from growing hair on balding pates and god knows what. Approaches vary. In some cases, you are required to apply a cream which will have magical effects on your skin. In other cases, a dye will do the trick. The more complicated cases and desires get under the surgeon’s scalpel. The human body is seen as a commodity. The ads in the newspaper scream: Pay to lose 5 Kgs and lose the next 5 Kgs for free!’ The local barber I visit has a bewildering range of products that include massages and steam baths and so many things I cannot even remember. He is no longer the guy who mainly works with the razor, scissor and comb.

Nowadays my son attends a cricket camp nearby. A classmate of his also comes to this camp to hone his cricketing skills. The other day, we were playing a small game after their practice session. I was wicket keeping while my son’s classmate batted. In between he kept looking at me before taking his guard to face the next ball from my son.

‘You didn’t dye your hair?’ He asked. I reasoned, and if my wife could have heard me thinking, she’d have been delighted -- ‘Which boy would like to have an old looking father?’ But on second, stubborn thoughts, I asked: ‘What if this old looking father has a young heart, loads of questions about life, an insatiable curiosity and desire to live? What if this old looking father wants to stretch the limits and suck very drop from life? Wouldn’t that matter more? What if…?’ The temptation to yield to the dye was banished forever then. We worship the body so much that we forget the heart. The heart doesn’t grow old. And then, we want to live in zones of comfort. Does this not make us old already, even if we may look young?

The surest indicator to find out if you are young or old is to ask if you are child-like. There is a difference between this and being childish. Being child-like allows me to be young, white matter and all. It allows me to be alive to new possibilities every moment. The mind is not grooved in any one particular pattern of thinking and action. There are no self-limiting thoughts, and there is little fear of the unknown. Embracing uncertainty comes naturally in a child-like state. This is the state I aspire to be in, even as the whites conquer and colonize my body. My goal is to find that place inside my self where I am still a carefree child. This can be brought forth. I can therefore bring back my childhood – it is ready to be evoked and integrated into my being. The brilliant writer and therapist A. H Almaas says that this exercise of recapturing childhood is not merely a return to childhood but something more significant:

“When we look at a child,” writes Almaas, “we see that the sense of fullness, of intrinsic aliveness, of joy in being, is not the result of something else. There is value in just being oneself; it is not because of something one does or doesn’t do. It is there in the beginning, when we were children, but it slowly gets lost.”

As adults, it doesn’t quite matter whether one has white or dark matter on one’s head -- we usually lose track of that joy inside us, despite the numerous sources of pleasure and distractions that exist today. Even a very good looking adult with a toned body can still have very low levels of worthiness and satisfaction. The desire to be young again is a symbol of the deeper desire to remain new. Children take to this like a fish takes to water. By putting ourselves back in a childlike mindset, we open the way of learning. As Almaas puts it: “We are the pleasure, we are the joy, we are the most profound significance and the highest value.”

24th August 2009

Bengalooru

Insect as metaphor

The insect kept struggling to stay afloat the dirty water standing on the side of the road. I stood on the footpath which was the bank, and watched its condition. From where had this insect come? It would have been happy and comfortable flying here and there, living its uncomplicated life. By some strange mix of circumstances, it had landed on this muddy bit of water. It certainly looked out of place. One can say that if the road had a proper system to drain the water, the puddle with the struggling insect would not have been there in the first place. The insect would have been elsewhere then, perhaps in a less hostile environment. But Kolkata is no different from any other Indian city, I guess. We keep spending crores of rupees every year on ‘maintenance’ but one good rain is enough to make the water stand and trap insects such the one I was watching.

Was the insect used to this watery environment? It looked like the flying type, with its tiny, immobile wings. In that stagnant pool, it was desperately moving its jointed legs, trying to find surer ground. One bit of a solid surface would have been enough to get it airborne again. I saw a piece of cardboard jutting out of this stagnant pool, about three feet from the struggling insect. One stride at the most for me but for the insect in that condition, three feet was large.

The notion of scale is relative, isn’t it? For instance, what distance would this insect travel all its life? What about an ant? A mosquito? Lice in the hair? Viruses? Many insects may travel within very limited boundaries all their lives when compared with humans. May be for them that distance is normal or even huge. From our anthropocentric view (we tend to follow the dictum that ‘man is the measure of all things’), the insect distance may be small. But what about the lice in the hair of a person who travels across continents? It has a great chance of seeing the earth. So does a cockroach that gets packed in your suitcase which is flown from Bangalore to Kolkata! Both in terms of scale and speed of travel, the oblivious cockroach has not seen anything like it before. The best example I can think of right now is the H1N1 virus which my friend thinks is the ‘Varaha avatar’, a reincarnation of God in his various forms. This virus has traveled all the way from Mexico, free of cost.

For that matter, even those of us who do not travel much beyond the immediate confines of our home and community are all cosmic travelers, aren’t we? For one, the earth goes around the sun at an astonishing 18 miles per second, the sun completes one turn around the center of the Milky Way galaxy every 250 million years, while the galaxy itself (like millions or billions of other galaxies) is hurtling through space-time at this very moment, or so we are told. Nothing is resting then, everything moves. There is no absolute rest anywhere in this universe. No minus 273 degree Kelvin.

The struggling insect was closer to the piece of the wet, jutting cardboard. It sparked off another set of thoughts. What about what happens in our schools? Children struggle day after day, year after year in this often hostile environment, searching for pattern, searching for meaning. That search is not fruitful, except in some cases. Like the struggling insect I saw in Kolkata, most children just manage to stay afloat. There are very few anchors in any case, very few wet cardboards jutting out of the muddy waters of the experience we call schooling. Last night, I was reading Margaret Donaldson who says ‘…that some of the skills which we value most highly in our educational system are thoroughly alien to the spontaneous modes of functioning of the human mind.’ This is one view.

The other way of looking at the struggling insect is to ask: What is life without a struggle? Growing and becoming are all as a result of struggle. What is life without a scar, a deep imprint? Without an experience that brings you close to the edge and sometimes takes you over? A sense of achievement follows struggle. Once you reach the wet cardboard that juts out, you have a vantage point which helps you understand where you are. It also offers possibilities for where you want to go, and what you want to become. Genuine understanding perhaps develops like this. The ‘Aha!’ moment of understanding is the cardboard climbing moment which was preceded by struggle and engagement. That is joyful learning – the struggle for understanding, the understanding itself, the looking beyond. Not, on the other hand, the doing of an activity for the sake of doing it, to be followed by 'real' (actually, rote) learning, as many teachers thought when the wave of joyful learning swept all over us in the decade of the nineties.

Schools are supposed to make children struggle to reach the cardboard and even go beyond. They can do it but end up not doing it. Instead, children struggle mindlessly. The human potential for meaningful struggle leading to achievement is lost on our teachers and educators. It is lost the moment the child steps into school.

I didn’t wait long enough to see what happened to the insect. Had to get back to my workshop session where I narrated this story.

18 August 2009
Bengalooru

Classes versus the masses

Sometimes, all it needs is a few snatches of conversation to get us to explore deeper and fundamental aspects of our daily living. These thoughts remain with us for days as we mull over the issues that came up, explore them from various points of view and also look for resolution. I had this opportunity a couple of days back while I waited in the lobby of a Kolkata guesthouse.

These days, I’m engaged in getting a group of people working with a well known Kolkata NGO to get into the act of writing – the idea is to use it as a tool to learn more about the self and also explore the possibility of writing about others, particularly children, parents, teachers, the educational system at large and so on. What does ‘writing on education’ mean? What does it involve? What place does writing have in our eternal quest for providing meaningful education to all children? Can everyone write? What sort of preparation is required? How do we address the issue of ‘personal and public’? These are some of the questions we are trying to grapple with in the course of the workshops I’m facilitating.

Let me get back to what happened in the lobby. The quick exchange I had with the hotel wallah went like this, with the opening statement made by me.

‘It is raining and the weather’s pleasant isn’t it? Much better than what it was in June.’
‘Yes’, he agreed. ‘It’s also pleasant because the old (pre-1993) vehicles are no longer running on the roads.’
‘I heard about it. This is a recent government decision, right? They did it in Delhi some years ago.’
‘Yes sir. I can feel the difference myself. Pollution has come down by 60%, they say.’
‘Oh…that’s nice.’
‘Sir, the problem is with the masses. They have spoilt our city. I’m a tax payer, but these people reap the benefits. They have polluted the city with their old gaadies.’
‘Ok,’ I nodded, waiting for him to go on. I was not sure if I agreed with him. This exchange was becoming interesting! The hotel wallah had begun taking certain positions which I wanted to examine further.

‘What about their livelihoods then?’ I posed.
‘There are so many jobs in Kolkata, if they are really interested in doing them. We too have a couple of vacancies. When these people don’t come forward, we end up hiring Bangladeshis.’

His masses bashing continued. ‘You know, I was recently reading the speech given by the ITC (Indian Tobacco Company) Chairman. He explains so clearly the steps for global warming – who causes it, how it happens…I’m now convinced it’s the masses and their dirty ways.’

I wondered what wisdom Deveshwar, the ITC chairman had shared on global warming which had so impressed the hotel wallah. Later, I did get to read his 98th annual general body meeting speech of July 2009, in which he says makes all the right noises about global warming. Yet, when he presents the solutions that ITC has proposed or even undertaken in terms of green technology, one cannot help but see the unmistakable emphasis of maintaining soaring profit lines and margins. I wonder to what extent this meshes with issues like environmental sustainability. It certainly merits deeper examination
It’s amusing, isn’t it? One invokes the chairman of a company that manufactures cigarettes for profit when it comes to tackling global warming! Well, I actually do not have a problem with corporations who come forward to tackle issues of grave importance like global warming and climate change. However, from whatever little I know, I wonder if there is much to cheer about regarding their roles – are they actually serious about it? Is there sincere action? The green mantra is great if you want to build a ‘do-gooder’ image. Beneath the image, fundamentally little will have changed. It is indeed interesting that we look to corporate leaders whose sole aim is profit making at all costs, for direction! We can discuss many more examples like ITC, perhaps. My cursory observation shows that while ‘Corporate Social Responsibility’ is the tag used for undertaking a wide range of efforts (in education, health, agriculture, micro-finance and so on), the nature of the real businesses does not change – in the form of SEZs, big dams, power stations, mining, cutting of forests, software exports and a myriad other activities (often aided and abetted by lax government laws and even laxer implementation), corporations ‘Rule the World’, as David Korten puts it in his very disturbing book ‘When Corporations Rule the World’.

Anyway, since Mr. Hotel wallah was keen on proving his point, he invoked another dubious example. ‘You’ve heard of Alyque Padamsee (the ad man)?’ Before I could nod my ‘Yes,’ he went on. ‘He has written about what is happening in Bombay. With all their hard earned money and their taxes, they try to clean the city. But these people come from all over the place and set up their jhuggi-jhopdies right next to the posh localities.’ I wondered if he wanted to complement Bal Thackeray and Raj Thackeray’s Bombay cleansing efforts. But he didn’t get that far. I wondered if Kolkata had their counterparts as well.

I was convinced that a deeper engagement with this man was necessary. My first question was on the energy and pollution front. Quickly, I asked: ‘Do you know that using an A.C consumes about thirty times the power used by an ordinary fan?’ He looked as if he didn’t know. I went on: ‘People like us who use AC’s are also polluting the earth, much more than the masses.

He didn’t quite understand, and countered: ‘But it doesn’t pollute the air, right, like the old taxis and auto-rickshaws?’

‘That may be the case if you look at it superficially,’ I pointed out. ‘What about thermal pollution?’ That is also another form of pollution which we don’t discuss much about. The real damage these high energy devices cause is elsewhere, far away from our cushy homes and hotels. From where do we get so much power to run our ACs? From some coal powered or hydro powered plant. Running an AC means burning that much more coal. Putting up a giant hydro project means that much more displacement of people who we call the masses.’ I was trying hard to remember some post independence statistics quoted by Arundhati Roy in her article ‘For the Greater Common Good’. 33 million, if I remember right, by very conservative estimates are the number of people displaced by big dams (at 10000 people per dam X 3300 big dams) since Independence.

‘But we cannot do without AC’s in this kind of weather’, he protested.
‘That’s a lifestyle issue as well’, I pointed out. ‘How can we blame the masses alone, when we are doing more damage?’

Some silence. It brought us face to face with the unresolved conflicts and dilemmas of our own lives. When we choose to face these conflicts, silence is perhaps a good way to begin with. Beneath that silence, there is a cauldron of thoughts, reactions, justifications and counter reactions all of which need sorting out. But the truth stares at us in the face and we cannot afford to deflect it with a cacophony of arguments. Martin Lings, the Islamic scholar, has put it beautifully:

‘If it can be said that man collectively shrinks back more and more from the truth, it can also be said that on all sides the truth is closing in more and more upon man. It might almost be said that, in order to receive a touch of It, which in the past required a lifetime of effort, all that is asked of him now is not to shrink back. And yet how difficult that is!”

By then, my colleague arrived to pick me up. ‘And let’s think about why is it that the masses have come to the cities in the first place’, I managed to say on my way out. ‘Nobody wants to live in sub-human conditions in the cities, but many don’t have a choice…’

I met the hotelier in the evening when I went to collect my room key. ‘I’ve been thinking about your AC point’, he said. Somewhere, I thought, a dent had been made even as we continued making our big carbon footprints for the day.

August 2009
Krishnagiri
Tamilnadu

The Marriage Postulate

Nearly twelve years ago, I wrote this piece. My marriage was a good two and half years away, but the thought had started bothering me a little. My parents were anxious to get me married off and 'settled' in life. Here I was, with so many questions and confused thoughts. I decided to make sense of that turmoil through this article. Writing about it made me feel somewhat more comfortable, I remember. Ultimately, I don't think I was guided by a 'rational' decision into marriage -- I just plunged into it, like everyone else!

Having reached a “marriageable” age, it is only natural that the thought should now be consistently nagging my mind. My thinking has left me confused - clarity on the matter seems like the mirage. What does it mean to marry, after all? And why am I so bothered by the question?

A friend of mine, who’s evidently happily married, said as a matter of fact, “You are needlessly being consumed by this question because you look at it as a major decision in your life. Why should it be so? Just marry!” If only it had been just as easy!

To begin with, the thought of staying with somebody all your life is frightening. Suppose we get bored of each other? What if we begin to dislike each other intensely? In this sense, isn’t marriage some thing that “makes” or “breaks” our lives? The latter phenomenon is being observed with increasing regularity. The standard reply to this would be, “Well, everything depends on how you make it work, the extent of give and take, the ability to adjust...” I can only nod my head in vague, cerebral agreement.

The institution of marriage is as old as the hills. It’ll be interesting to see how it began. Perhaps this will provide us with insights into the issue of why one should marry at all, or say, what the advantages may be, if one marries.

Prehistoric people were primarily nomadic. They must have operated with some division of labour. Quite understandably, the men-folk would have done the roaming, hunting etc., while the women were relatively less mobile, rearing children and so on. With the advent of agriculture, the mobility of men must have reduced, as their work profiles changed.

In the initial stages, I suppose there were no restrictions to mating freely within a particular community. The issue of pair bonding may have come about in relation to taking care of the young ones. Thus, it seems to me that, over a period of time, the bonding must have become “institutionalised” and ritualised because of this reason, i.e., proper care for the offspring, and the propagation of the species.

I’m sure there was a realisation that this would be a socially stable arrangement. Also, it ensured some sort of security for the individuals involved, physically and emotionally.

How were mates chosen? I do not know, but I believe that the process was more instinctual, and not governed as such by the intellect. There must have been the problem of separation, if “everything did not go well”. How did it operate then?

Today, the essential argument for marriage being the same, the process has become vastly complicated. No longer does it cater only to the issue of species propagation - the central problem of marriage is the problem of compatibility.

In this connection, the study of astrology is interesting. Scientific scepticism does not deter the astrologers who cling to the belief that our fate is linked to the movements of the stars and planets. This is somehow related to the psychological attributes of the person. Presumably, horoscope matching is nothing but the matching of these attributes.

Well, this is one side of the story. While astrological predictions are considered to be important, marital harmony is seen to be very much linked to (that oft used word) compatibility. Physical, emotional and intellectual matching, to various degrees, is the crux of the matter. Add to this the matching of social and economic status. Nowadays, these two seem to have taken precedence over the others as necessary criteria for a “good” marriage. Marriages are increasingly beginning to look like business propositions. Thousands of years ago, the processes leading to a bonding for life must have been much simpler.

What are the arguments for marriage? My supposition is that humans have to grapple with loneliness and insecurity - this is our fundamental predicament. Many are the efforts that are expended to overcome this condition. My own understanding is that this predicament invariably leads to, in all of us, a universal hunger and longing for love. Marriage is one of the ways by which this incompleteness can be filled. In this context, the essence of marriage is that it is a process of sharing our lives (with our husbands and wives…) -- joy, sorrow, pleasure, ideas, feelings, sunsets and sunrises, the trees, hills and vales, rivers, oceans, butterflies, babies and indeed, the entire gamut of existence. It is this sharing that helps us to transcend our aloneness and vulnerability and become stronger. The creator has perhaps intended in the cosmic scheme of things that man and woman be complementary to each other, like the pieces of a jigsaw puzzle.

Having put forward my case for marriage, let’s look at the flip side of things. Marriage, in my opinion, is a ‘construct’ of the human mind. In this sense, it is artificial, perhaps unlike the natural theory of selection of Darwin. It is not ‘naturally’ intended as a process in nature. Barring the issue of insecurity and safe propagation of species, I do not see any other worthwhile reason for marriage. Custodians of marriage may reproach me for being ‘anti-marriage-establishment’. Let that be. This is precisely how I feel. There may be a few exceptions, where individuals have managed to live with each other for several years, and yet the experience is enriching and meaningful. By and large, many couples whom I have met indicate that their relationships have become routine. The rejoinder to this may be that it is entirely up to the individuals to “make it work”. But when I see a widespread breakdown of sorts – divorce, suicide, extra-marital pre-occupations, even couple ‘swapping’ and an overall lack of purpose and meaning in marriages, I am inclined to believe that a re-thinking is needed. These are manifestations of a ‘gross mismatch’ of the different compatibility criteria that contribute to a good marriage. Something is therefore wrong.

I must address the issue of matching and compatibility in greater detail now, after having touched upon it so far in a somewhat casual manner. All conditions of compatibility operate as a whole, and not separately by themselves, and each condition is linked to the other. It is only because some (or few) of these criteria are met that people are looking elsewhere for fulfilment. The outlook is not holistic, and does not cater to the soul. The nourishment is only partial: “I’d like to marry somebody who’s earning at least 20,000/- per month (so that our combined earning is at least 30,000/-),” or, “My wife should preferably be a software engineer working in a multi-national corporation.” I do not wish to be unjustly critical, but these are statements indicative of a trend that doesn’t promise healthy, enriching marriages. While I do appreciate that there are practical difficulties especially in an age of spiralling costs, these parameters should not be allowed to take precedence over other, more important factors that will ultimately contribute to human wellbeing. If happiness in marriage is what one aspires for, it is puzzling that we’re choosing routes which will only take us there tangentially, or may not even take us there at all.

Translated into simpler terms, one way of looking at marriages is that they are need-based. Every individual has many needs, apart from just finance – sexual needs and their fulfilment, for instance. Emotions need proper expression; their suppression only leads to frustration. Thus, it seems that need fulfilment is closely linked to compatibility, and comes before it. But how can needs get fulfilled when two individuals may have very different sets of needs, priorities and expectations?

We finally then arrive at the matter of ‘compromise’ and ‘adjustment’. These are words that are used more than they are implemented. They essentially refer to the giving up of space in order to create space for the other. Its almost like saying, “Well, we may have several needs – can we learn to express them; can we also agree upon which of these needs can be met, how they can be met; can we agree upon what may not be possible, and why so?” This dialogue is necessary to keep the relationship going, and needs a considerable amount of time, effort and perseverance.

I’m still not convinced that this is possible by and large throughout the human species. Is it humanly possible for men and women to stay meaningfully and purposefully with each other throughout their lives, rear children, and look after each other? To many this may be a redundant question. I ask it with all sincerity and passion, for it relates to the overall quality of life, and not, on the other hand, a mechanical, routine exercise of living.

By nature, there are various impulses operating within us, which may not find an expression in marriage. What is to be done about them? Forget them, suppress them, or, find fulfilment and gratification for them discreetly elsewhere? How does one look at the issue of loyalty in a marriage?

I’m still confused, but I’d rather believe that the creation of the institution of marriage might not be in consonance with certain fundamental, natural qualities and tendencies in human beings. It is only the fear of chaos that has ensured the endurance of the institution.

My imagination recoils at the thought of the resultant disorder that would prevail in society if it not were for marriage. Perhaps, we can make it work if we set our own inner houses in order.

November ’97

Depression

Here is another article from the winter of '89. As with many other articles that I wrote then, this is another example of one of my soliloquies. During bouts of depression, I often wondered what it was all about, and how to deal with it. Reading it twenty years later, I realize that the approach to dealing with it remains essentially the same, at least for me. Additionally, perhaps, my understanding is that if we chase depression to get rid of it, it comes back stronger! The best way then is to let it come, and pass...

One thing is absolutely certain about depression – it makes one feel depressed! Surely, depression is one thing which everyone likes to get rid of before it sets in. Often the fact that depression can be got rid of by identifying its root causes is overlooked, further aggravating the condition.

Now there are two ways by the help of which one can identify the root cause of depression. The first of these methods (which I will call the ‘biochemical-particulate’ view) will certainly sound crazy, but can be relied upon to yield satisfactory results! First of all, it is important that you assume a relaxed posture with your eyes closed. Try to imagine the various chemical reactions taking place in your brain, and also bear in mind that there is a physical basis for these chemical reactions, at a deeper level the end result of which is this state called depression. Now, whatever is causing this depression is the final result of an extremely complicated (and perhaps unfathomable) set of processes that are taking place in your brain. It should be borne in mind that the environment i.e. the surroundings have a profound influence on all these processes, because of the mutual interaction between the brain and the environment.

The key to the solution of your problem lies here, in the labyrinthine complexity of your brain. By the time you ‘understand’ these reactions, and find your way out of the millions of neural networks in your brain, you will find that your depression has vanished, as your observation will show that in the ultimate analysis, your depression does not have any cause and that it is a part and parcel of life!

The second method will help you to attack depression from a slightly different angle, with the same end results. Try and look at only the positive aspects of life. Identify the positive points of your character. Remember all the good moments of the past, when you were smiling with happiness and also remember the times when you, by your good deeds, brought a smile on the faces of your near and dear ones. Note that these good moments will come many more times in your life, and you have to carry on at least to experience these moments and derive joy from them.

You are actually a very privileged person, because you are capable of reading whatever I have written…there are millions in this world who cannot even read. And there are millions of them who have seen the most horrible things in life, and whose plight is heart rending – yet, some of them are smiling always! Learn from them! You have to consider yourself to be very lucky, as you may not have experienced the cruelest aspects of life – even if you have, you are better placed than many others, as you can possibly learn a lot from these incidents and experiences.

Are you still feeling depressed? Remember – you have been sent into this world because there was a very strong reason, a very special purpose – it is your responsibility that you achieve your goals while there is still much time. Look at the beggar on the street -- he is not in a position to help his own self, let alone help others. Is not your position better than his, that you are in a better position to help yourself, and others? Start now! It is important to realize that a genuine smile on your face is always welcome, and a good deed per day will not only make others smile, but will also make you smile, automatically.

Where is your depression now?

(November 1989)

On the nature of scientific enquiry

Here is an article I wrote in the summer of 1989. Those were the days of fascination with disciplines like theretical physics and mathematics. My friends and I bunked classes to discuss quantum mechanics, relativity theory and other exciting developments that had revolutionized our understanding of the physical world. Yet, despite the power of these forms of knowledge to unravel the mysteries of the universe, I was distinctly uncomfortable as I felt that these disciplines did not admit certain types of questions. Some of that tension is reflected in this article.

In his Evolution of Scientific Thought, A.d’Abro says:
“Consider the phenomenon of gravitation. Does any one really imagine that Newton or Einstein has ever attempted to explain gravitation? To say that gravitation is a property of matter or is the property of space-time in the neighbourhood of matter is just as much of an explanation as to say that sweetness is a property of sugar; for in the last analysis, what is matter – what is space-time…? (Scientists) content themselves with describing the properties and the relationships that appear to connect them. Clearly, those who seek explanations will find no comfort in science. They must turn to metaphysics. And yet, as a matter of fact, these rather gloomy conclusions are gloomy because we are expecting too much…we shall find that the descriptions of science are creative and fertile, and not sterile, as descriptions usually are.”

As far as my opinion goes, I would like to point out that I wholeheartedly disagree with A.d’Abro’s point of view. To be just content with explanations or an understanding of the relationships between various parameters without really wanting to find out why these relationships exist (or, more appropriately, in the words of Stephen Hawking, “What breathes fire into these equations…?”), does not represent a complete enquiry as such.

Till now, most scientists have been too occupied with the development of new theories that describe what the universe is than to ask the question why. On the other hand, the people whose business is to ask why, the philosophers have not been able to keep up with the advance of scientific theories. Scientists often ‘look down’ or dismiss philosophical speculations, though they may themselves be constantly suppressing such urges within themselves!

Perhaps, as A.d’Abro says, those who seek explanations will find no comfort in science, and that they should turn to metaphysics. But can we really afford to be satisfied with just this ‘what’ kind of information and knowledge? We should be grateful (to whom, I wonder?!) because we are in a position to ask – what is matter, what is space-time, why is the universe…? Perhaps nature has ‘built’ us that way, so that we can ask these questions.

Let me consider this problem from the ‘atomic’ viewpoint of science. ‘Life’ can be defined roughly as ‘atoms trying to understand more about atoms’. I am not in a position to explain what understand means. And if atoms can ‘ask’ why atoms should exist, for example, there should be a reason, the reason being that atoms have themselves felt the need for asking these questions, knowing fully well that they have ‘felt the need for asking these questions’, and also ‘knowing that they know fully well that they have felt the need for asking these questions…ad infinitum.

When the need for asking these questions has been felt, the answers should be there – there cannot be questions without answers, however seemingly stupid or otherwise the questions may be (actually, no question is stupid as such). This is necessary to maintain some sort of ‘equilibrium’ or ‘balance’ in this universe…there should not be any ‘agitation’ which will disturb the ‘universal calm…’ In that sense, being content or jubilant that it is enough to understand relationships between various parameters without asking why those relationships exist, does not represent the highest product of the human intellect. The process of enquiry may go on forever, but that should not deter one from asking these questions. That is my sincere opinion.

March’89

Musings on Cricket and Life

Some experiences can scar you for life. They leave a certain block in the mind which is difficult to overcome. Lifelong behaviour is influenced by these scars that just don’t go away. Just when we seem to think that we have dropped the baggage for good, some incident or the other allows that part of the memory to surface with a vengeance -- it recreates the experience and leaves us perplexed, angry and bitter for a while. It feels as if we have relived that experience. I suppose this is what happens when we try to suppress such experiences.

The experiences that scar you for life can also lead to disastrous consequences. I still remember the scene in a Bharatpur village in Rajasthan more than three years ago. I was doing a classroom observation in a government school, sitting in the veranda. Overcrowding and lack of space had resulted in the veranda being converted into a classroom. It is still a common sight in many schools, despite massive investments in infrastructure over the last decade. I was sitting in one corner of the class, and could see the village beyond. Suddenly, a boy came running almost out of nowhere and jumped without hesitation into the well adjacent to the school. I was too horrified to react. Some of us, including the children who had seen the boy jump, instinctively got up and ran towards the well. The teacher followed suit. Soon, everyone from the school had gathered around the well. The boy’s brothers had come running after him within a minute. Quickly, to my amazement, a rope was tied in a crisscross manner round the elder brother’s shoulders and waist, and he was lowered into the well. Many villagers had turned up by then. The women were wailing, while the men could be seen arguing heatedly. The boy’s inert body was brought up after what seemed like an eternity. We had stationed our jeep just in case he had to be rushed to the hospital. Luckily, he survived. I learnt later that his elder brother had admonished him. Following an argument, the boy had decided to give it all up.

I was left wondering how fragile human nature is, after all. Steely determination, focus, energy and strong will that we see and experience sometimes gives the strong impression that human nature can withstand much onslaught. What surprises me however, is its fragility. Nowadays, we hear more and more and see more and more of this fragility, through examination related suicides, relationship problems and all other kinds of human issues. A friend of mine had once looked at suicide differently. ‘Contrary to the notion that suicide is an escape from the misery of it all, it is an assertion’, she had said, adding that extreme human will is required to carry out the act. She is right in a way. But I would still maintain that the human will can assert in ways that can prevent self destruction. Perhaps this can happen if one sees meaning in life. When this sense of meaning collapses, it is difficult to carry on. I’m still reading that wonderful book by Victor Frankl titled Man’s Search for Meaning, which talks of hope and emancipation even in as harsh a place as the concentration camps of the second world war. What an amazing story it is!

Then there are some experiences can leave you disturbed for a long time, till you find ways of dealing with them. Dealing usually involves looking at them in perspective, and in believing in oneself. What this essentially means is the development of a certain kind of detachment, and understanding the circumstances that led to those incidents. Subsequent accumulation of a wealth of experiences and wisdom as we grow up can help us appreciate why such a thing happened in the first place. I have usually found that ‘laughing it off’ (which often also involves laughing at oneself) is the best way to deal with the hurt that comes from such experiences. That is what I’m now able to do with my experiences on the cricket field almost thirty years ago.

The year was 1980, and it was the hundredth year of our school. Imagine! I was in grade six. We were all busy preparing for the centenary celebrations. As such, the normal, monotonous routine of the school was broken because of this huge event for which we were getting ready. We were all happy, as we didn’t have to sit through class after class everyday. During that period, I was asked to report for practice in the junior cricket team of the school. Apparently, someone had seen me play in one of those myriad matches that we used to set up during lunch time in the big field, often stacking up our bags or big blocks of stone as the wickets at either end. At any given point during lunch time, there would be at least twenty matches played on our famous big field. I remember that I had somehow developed the skill for producing a prodigious amount of turn with my off breaks. This troubled almost any batsman who faced me.

Iyer, an ex-student of our school, was our coach. He was probably 18 or 20. As soon as I reached for practice after school in the small field, he asked me to do a few rounds and then threw me the leather ball. Unlike the ‘cork’ ball, which was easier to turn, I was unable to turn the leather ball as sharply. But my good line and length and quick movement through the air was enough to still trouble most batsmen. Iyer seemed pleased and he said ‘You are pitching the ball in places that are difficult for the batsmen to play…’ I was pleased as hell and attended practice regularly. I don’t remember much about batting practice, but I remember bowling my heart out everyday. There were sixteen of us who were part of the junior team.

There were my off days as well. After some time, I had more off days than good days at bowling practice. Something was wrong. This resulted in Iyer not interacting with me much. He would only expect me to field and fetch the ball. I would wait longingly for a bowling stint which didn’t come my way for a long time. However, my lunchtime matches continued, and I continued to trouble many batsmen. One fine day, Iyer threw me the ball again. How I troubled Sharath, one of our best batsmen and junior team captain, with my flight and spin! He would dance down the wicket and I would pitch it just a wee bit short. At other times, the trajectory of the ball would draw him forward full stretch. I thought I had rediscovered my lost art. Suddenly, everything looked good. But Iyer still decided not to operate with me everyday at practice. He wouldn’t tell me what was wrong and what I could do to change things. No feedback, no conversation.

A few months later, we had the Cottonian shield. The matches were played in the small field of the Bishop Cotton School. We won the first two matches and suddenly found ourselves in the final. I didn’t get to play but got to watch from the sidelines. The final match against Cottons was a three day affair which we lost quite badly. Naturally, the team was dejected.

I remember the prize ceremony and the distribution of certificates. They started calling out our names. I waited for my turn to go up on stage and collect that certificate of participation. That moment never came, and I was too shocked to come to terms with what had happened. The gathering dispersed even as I heard many hurrahs for the winners. All my junior team friends were carrying their certificates on which their names were written. We got into the school van. Sitting quietly in a corner, I tried very hard to suppress a tear. Some of my friends noticed my turmoil but didn’t say anything. I suppose they couldn’t. In a matter of fact way, Iyer told me that there were only 15 certificates prepared. My name had been deliberately left out of that list. Why? Why me? After all those months of practice, and cold shouldering!

Tough times followed for some days. Eventually I got over the incident. Luckily, I didn’t give up cricket. The big field matches and the street matches near home continued as before. I loved the game too much to be bothered about Iyer. A couple of years later, Sharath asked me to report for practice in the senior team. Promptly, I got back to practice. We played many matches. We won some, we lost some. But we didn’t make it to the final of any tournament. I enjoyed the playing, though. I suppose that is what matters, ultimately.

Our school football team was much better. They won the interschool shield in 1984, just a day before Indira Gandhi was assassinated. I remember the extended holiday!

Looking back, I realise what a bad teacher and a bad coach can do. Only my self belief helped me to overcome those initial moments of despondency. Iyer was a bad and insensitive coach, who didn’t believe in open, honest communication, the hallmark of a good teacher. Perhaps he was too young to be one, in the first place! I wonder where he went.

I sometimes worry for my son, who’s taken to practicing cricket in an academy near home. It is a sixty year old club, perhaps the oldest in Bangalore. He practices thrice a week and we play endlessly in our living room and in the backyard. He’s got a good front arm bowling action, and has all the potential to become a good bowler. His batting is improving too. I’m happy he’s pursuing a game of his choice, given that the school he currently goes to does not even have a playground! We’ll change his school next year. I want him to enjoy his game, and will not expect anything more from him.

The beauty of cricket has very nearly been killed by the BCCI, which is run by a bunch of ruthless businessmen who want to milk from it the last drop of money. I don’t see much spontaneity in the way the game is played. We played cricket in every conceivable place without thinking where it would lead us. We enjoyed playing it. Period. Today, everyone seems to be making a plan to make it big. Parents want their children to get into the under 10 league and move up from there. The many different forms of the game have opened up avenues for raking in the moolah. Young children are exposed to it all through television. It is up to the parents and the coaches to tell their children, ‘Look just go out there and enjoy playing the game. It’s a game after all!’ As parents, we need to be careful not to thrust the burden of our expectations on our children. At the same time, we will need to prepare them to handle failure, through self belief. I can only hope that Iyer is doing well, if he is still a cricket coach.

July 2009